Why Portland Oregon Sucks

1. Aerial Tram: No ski hill at the top. Not a good use of public funds.  OHSU bullying the city once again.
   
2. Man-Purses: An abnormally high concentration of this metrosexual accoutrement.  Never really figured this one out.
   
3. Bad Musicians That Can't Play Their Instruments: The Decemberists
4. Fanbois of Wilco: and all "alt-country" musica horrible
5. The "Smug" Factor: "I'm so much more open-minded than you are, which is why I don't listen to a thing you say." (contributed by ledge).  e.g. "Everywhere in the South sucks."
6. Vera Katz: She juuust won't go away.
7. Eric Sten's Administration of the Water Bureau: Eric puts us Erics everywhere to shame.  He has always had this ridiculous notion he knows what he's doing in both government and politics.
8. The Pearl District's Urban Wetland: No comment; you really have to see it to believe it.
   
9. Overpriced Southern Food: Bernie's Backyard BBQ
10. Potholes Galore: Reason: see Aerial Tram
11. Twice the Traffic on the Same Roads:
12. Apple Fanbois: Tons of webmonkeys running around with iPhones and programming Ruby on Rails
13. The Extremely Polluted Willamette River
14. The OLCC: A State entity that has to approve all liquors sold in Oregon
15.  Can't Pump Your Own Gas: This one's a little unfair, since it's an Oregon-wide thing, like the OLCC above, but it just adds to the misery.
    
16. Rye and ragweed allergens: Rye produced up in the valley hangs ominously over Portland.  I never had allergies before or since living in Portland.
17. Most importantly: Native Americans referred to the Willamette Valley as the "Valley of Sickness", and wouldn't live there.
18. For all the reasons listed at: a better "why Portland sucks" page than mine
    

*Nothing against the Northwest, and Seattle is an amazing city.